The Tooth Fairy Taught Us More Than Money: A Lesson in Emotions, Delayed Gratification, and Financial Wisdom

When my five-year-old daughter Isis lost her first tooth, she was thrilled. She jumped up and down, beaming with pride, shouting, “Mommy, it’s finally out! I’m so happy!” It was her first big “Tooth Fairy” moment—and ironically, her kindergarten class had just started learning about money. She could now identify coins, count by fives and tens, and recognized dollar bills. This felt like the perfect opportunity to bring a little financial learning home.

But while Isis was celebrating, her twin sister Amina sat nearby, visibly upset. Her teeth had come in a few months later than Isis’s, and she had no loose teeth of her own yet. She asked, “Why don’t I have any loose teeth?” Her disappointment was real—and as a mother, I wanted to make sure she still felt included without undermining her future moment of celebration.

As I was helping Isis rinse her mouth, I asked if she wanted the Tooth Fairy to come. Her response? A flat-out “No, just throw the tooth away.” 😑 I chuckled but respected her choice.

Of course, I intended to put the money under her pillow anyway—but I forgot. The next morning, as I packed lunch, she woke up and said, “Mommy, the Tooth Fairy didn’t come.” I reminded her, gently, “Well, the Tooth Fairy only visits when they’re invited. Do you want them to come now?” She said yes, and I told her we’d try again.

Meanwhile, Amina repeated, “Why haven’t my teeth come out?” I paused, then said, “Because God said it’s not your time yet. Your new teeth aren’t ready.” It comforted her… a little.

Later that day at work, I shared the story with a coworker. I admitted that I’d considered giving Amina some money too, just to make her feel better. His advice stopped me in my tracks: “Don’t do that. You’ll have lots of teeth to go through, and giving them both money every time isn’t sustainable—or helpful.”

He was right. That moment helped me see this experience as more than just about money under a pillow. It became a chance to teach my daughters about delayed gratification, emotional resilience, and the importance of celebrating others—even when it’s not your turn.

🧠 The Bigger Picture: Kids, Money, and Life Lessons

According to a study by the T. Rowe Price Parents, Kids & Money Survey, 69% of parents are reluctant to talk about money with their children, and only 23% say they feel very prepared to teach them about finances (T. Rowe Price, 2017). Yet research by behavior experts at the University of Cambridge suggests that money habits are formed by age 7 (Whitebread & Bingham, 2013).

This makes everyday moments—like losing a tooth—valuable opportunities to introduce core financial concepts early, in ways that are both age-appropriate and emotionally grounded.

⏳ Why Delayed Gratification Matters

Delayed gratification is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward in order to receive a bigger or better reward later. Psychologist Walter Mischel’s famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment found that children who could wait for two marshmallows instead of eating one immediately went on to have better life outcomes—higher SAT scores, healthier relationships, and greater financial success (Mischel et al., 1989).

Teaching delayed gratification lays the foundation for budgeting, saving, and long-term thinking—skills essential for financial freedom.

💡 What Parents Can Do: Tips for Teaching Kids About Money

Here are some simple ways you can turn everyday moments into money lessons:

1. Use Real Moments to Talk About Emotions and Money

Losing a tooth, getting birthday money, or even seeing you swipe your card at the grocery store are opportunities. Explain where money comes from, what it can do, and how feelings like jealousy or impatience are normal but manageable.

2. Introduce the Save, Spend, and Share Jars

Give your child three jars or envelopes:

• Save: For something they want in the future.

• Spend: For small, fun items now.

• Share: For giving to others or a cause they care about.

Even $1 can be split into 25¢, 50¢, and 25¢. It’s about building the habit.

3. Celebrate Others’ Wins Without Comparison

Help your child learn how to be happy for someone else’s milestone. It reinforces emotional intelligence and minimizes entitlement. Remind them, “Your time will come, and we’ll celebrate you too.”

4. Don’t Fix All Feelings with Money

As tempting as it is, giving a child money to “cheer them up” can associate spending with soothing discomfort. Instead, acknowledge their emotions and talk through them.

5. Make Money Fun and Tangible

Use play money, board games like “Money Bingo” or “The Allowance Game,” or roleplay as a store cashier. Keep it engaging.

💬 Final Thought: Teaching Kids to Wait, Celebrate, and Grow

When Isis found her money the next morning, her face lit up. Amina struggled, but we talked it through. I reminded her that her time would come—and when it did, we’d be just as excited for her.

In that small moment, I wasn’t just raising girls with teeth—I was raising future women who know how to manage money, handle their emotions, and celebrate life’s journey with patience and grace.